November 30, 2005
last paper syndrome
super duper sian.. no mood to study at all.. i slept the whole afternoon away! omg.. i cant believe i slept THAT much.. grrr.. oh well.. but im realli realli sick of studying.. see the notes already damn turn off.. sigh.. the last paper syndrome strikes again..
my mind keeps drifting off to mambo.. haha.. the challenge continues at phuture tmr.. *winks*
i received something really really sweet today.. SNAIL MAIL! omg.. i was so so shocked n touched when i received.. a letter full of sincerity and care from a fren.. who is probably reading this right now.. n dun worry i wun disclose ur identity.. but it was a really really sweet gesture.. :) you really made my day... amidst all the turmoils.. it's heartening to find that your friends still care so much for you despite themselves going thru so much..
in another 15 more hours.. i'll be free.. freedom never tasted so sweet...
jen
~00:05~
******
November 29, 2005
to the one who's been with me thru it all..
Don't say it as often as I should
But I really want it to be heard
When I say I love you that's for good
You have my word
That day after day after all
I will always be true
That's a promise I make to you
just wanna say thanks :)
jen
~00:18~
******
November 28, 2005
brain dead...
pharmaco was ok i guess.. though i blanked out and wrote stupid drug names.. haha couldnt realli recall what i've studied... like onli the gist of it.. let's hope i do ok for that..
human disease this wed.. which is also mambo nite! haha keep thinking of playing.. like the last paper dun matter sia.. happily slacked the weekend away.. luckily i was in the lib in the afternoon for a while.. managed to study a lil.. cancer, diabetes, atherosclerosis, alzheimer's n obesity.. 5 different diseases.. a ton load to enter into my lil brain.. which by the way is still saturated with pharmaco..
to be honest.. i do like pharmaco.. it's interesting and relatively easy to understand.. but i hate having to memorise all the drug names and mechanism of action n the side effects blah blah blah.. as for human disease.. i dunno how well i can score for that.. essay qns.. eeeeuuuwww.. why no mcq one?? grrr.. im so gonna take physio next sem.. the final exam is mcq! haha.. i prefer shading lil circle than writing pages n pages of essays anytime!
mugging session with shim todae was not too bad.. haha mugged outside the sci lib coz i din wanna be in an air con place.. the day b4 with jt n kel totally sucked.. all of a sudden central lib's aircon was v cold n the air was v dry.. i felt sick after a while.. (like you would be interested in this.. haha)
for the more juicy part.. im hooked on solitaire showdown!! so next time if u're bored n wanna play that.. jio me ok!!! :P thanks to wj, zl, hj mummy and amos for playing this stupid game with me the past few days.. dunno why im so addicted to it aniwae.. lol..
mambo on wed! i cant wait!!!! blast outing!! gether gether! :P
jen
~01:52~
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November 24, 2005
fun day with pharmaco...
darling yoon played me n dawn out by not coming to sci lib to mug with us.. haha in the end dawn's oh-so-nice jon came to fetch us from sch to my place.. where we ate our hearts out and mugged our brain cells away..
pharmaco is realli THE killer paper.. n we studied til we went mad.. started coming up with.. 'eh let's name our kids drug names in future! A is for abciximab.. B for betamethasone.. C for clopidogrel.. D for despiramine.. E for etanercept.. F for fluticasone.. G.. for.. err crap.. got any drug with G anot??'.. haha u get the point.. i almost wanted to rename chubby to.. omalizumab! haha that's such a cute name.. so alien-sounding.. haha and the best part.. dawn wanted to have ALL the diseases so that she can rem all the drug names that need to be taken to reduce or relieve the symptoms.. muahahhaha.. all study until siao already..
even went to disturb cai.. first time talking from my house to ur house eh! haha..
a whole shitload more to study.. wish me luck.. muackz..
to those who has finished exams: dun call me until the 30th!!!!
to those who are still struggling with me.. jiayou!!! it's gonna be over soon! HOLIDAYS!!! heh
plans for kl tripping pending.. i hope my parents will allow me to go! *keeps fingers crossed*
n jb tripping too.. el shall organise! *point arrow* haha
oh well.. b4 all that.. it's back to pharmacology.. boohoo..
jen
~20:25~
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November 23, 2005
2 papers down.. 2 more to go...
i cant wait.. 30th nov is approaching!!! mambo nite with the blast peeps!!! whee~ :P
but for now.. it's the awfully long wait til that day.. 2 core mods left.. 2 killer papers.. pharmaco and human disease.. so so scary.. esp pharmaco..
now with food n health out of the way.. i can fully conc on pharmaco.. n die on fri! billion and one drugs, side effects, mech of action etc to learn.. how fun!
i miss dance.. i miss my blast prens.. i miss lepaking..
central lib n sci lib have become my 2nd home.. 1/2 my day is spent there.. unbelievable..
ps really random thoughts.. im up at 2 but i aint studying.. completely distracted.. it's time to sleep n mug at sci lib tmr..
jen
~02:07~
******
November 20, 2005
i dreamt of *you last nite.. i dreamt you called and we spoke n everything was ok..
it was all but a dream..
jen
~10:44~
******
November 19, 2005
nothing unusual nothing strange
just back from a nite out with dawn n bf (happy birthday jon!), her cousins justin n adam.. n shim n bf.. chillin at liat starbucks was.. peaceful.. def moments when i thought about *you.. nothing new..
protein paper today was bad.. to think there are people who said it was easy.. oh man im screwed.. next major paper is pharmaco.. better start studying for it now.. if not i'll confirm die.. 80% paper.. freaking heavy.. grrr..
so anyway here's my conversation with chalk just 10 min ago.. when i was complaining to him about pharmaco.. damn funny.. chalk.. u're my crappiest friend can! can give u award le.. im sure no one can beat u..
JeN -trying to get over you- says:
diff leh.. next major one coming up.. i need to remember super a lot of drug names.. n their side effects etc.. damn sian
Table Knives and Bleeding Hearts says:
marijuana - makes ur reaction slow, bloodshot eyes, increase in appetites
LSDs - makes u slow, hallucinations, lose apetite and loss of sleep
Heroin - Bone ache, sleepnessness, fatigue
Table Knives and Bleeding Hearts says:
Shrooms - Gain in appetite, makes u slow
Table Knives and Bleeding Hearts says:
Ketamine - Sweat a lot, Gain appetite, makes u slow
Table Knives and Bleeding Hearts says:
E and ice - Makes u slow, hallucinate, thirsty
Table Knives and Bleeding Hearts says:
see A+ liao
JeN -trying to get over you- says:
hahaha u go take the paper for me lar
Table Knives and Bleeding Hearts says:
sure deans list one..
Table Knives and Bleeding Hearts says:
confirm plus chop
lol.. wad a joker..
ps thanks friends for cheering me up.. n to *you.. no one's calling you the bad guy.. no one said you were..
jen
~02:31~
******
November 18, 2005
all but an illusion..
i broke down in central lib level 6 toilet this morn.. im such a loser.. but i couldnt help it..
even wanted to resort to vitamin c.. shim n dawn stopped me yest.. but they let me try it today.. somehow i din.. it's just not me to do so.. den again if it kills the pain.. why not.. maybe tmr.. i'll give vitamin c a shot..
for now.. alcohol shall remain as my new best fren.. my sleeping pill.. thank goodness for the unlimited supply in my kitchen cupboard.. free flow ar!!! lol..
studying in central lib somehow is more fun and productive.. too distracted in sci lib already.. at least the occasional laughs in the lib is good..
i really need to stop thinking about *you... i really need to stop missing *you...
jen
~00:32~
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November 17, 2005
all because you kissed her goodnite..
firstly.. yah i know.. my english sucks. period. i am afterall not an english major.
2ndly.. i dun see the point in rebutting anything.. i dun have to prove it to anyone..
3rdly.. to end a 2 1/2 yr r/s over msn.. *applauds*
thanks to all my frens who really care about me.. im really touched.. :) but i aint breaking down in front of you all..
one thing i regret doing yesterdae.. drinking almost one whole bottle of sheridan.. n concussing in my room.. only to suffer the effects of a freaking bad hangover in school today.. i burned my stomach.. thus proving my point again that alcohol without food is very very bad.. headache was so bad i had to buy panadol.. spin spin spin.. i realise i feel the whole world is spinning when im drunk.. i was fine for that moment.. i was able to sleep.. reality hit me hard yet again when i opened my eyes...
if caring and cherishing about someone means letting the person go.. i'll let *you go no matter how fucking hurt i am rite now.. time will heal.. i noe.. but the time will not be soon.. anyhow thanks for loving me in your own special way.. n i hope you'll be happy..
jen
~00:28~
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November 15, 2005
i wanted to type an entry to seek justice for my actions.. but i dun see the point anymore..
*you just dun bother.. *you just choose to walk away.. coz *you feel it's a small issue.. haha.. i really should invite guys over to my palce to stay and not tell you n see how you feel about it..
i really should ask my guy friends to put up my picture on their friendster profiles and see how u react..
i really should ask my guy frens to dedicate blog entries to me..
but no.. i wun.. im not such a bitch..
i have better things to do.. like study for my exams and shut this whole episode away.. maybe it's really better this way.. goodbye
and ps.. i really hate people who block me on their msn..
jen
~16:34~
******
im fuckin crying and you dun even know it.. or maybe you just dun bother..
do i not mean anything to you anymore?
jen
~01:37~
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November 14, 2005
just done with the freaking human disease lab report.. last report for this sem.. phew.. spent one whole day on it!
teevee nite as usual every sunday.. i heart the apprentice and my date with the vampire~ heh.. tianya's so so pretty! but of coz i still like ma xiaoling! heh..
too many commercials on the chi numa numa.. it's disgusting.. dunno wad kan jian zhang lang bu pa bu pa aye... see a cockroach not scared not scared aye??? eeeuuuwwww... what's wrong with the chinese people??? like seriously.. ran out of orginal songs? or suddenly all the song writers disappeared? man.. it really sucks..
mugging at central lib yet again tmr with the usual gang n blast peeps! whee~ heh.. will someone wake me up an 8 freaking am????
jen
~02:38~
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November 13, 2005
this song reminds me of *you.. it's been on repeat the whole sunday as im doing my lab report and chatting with *you.. n i still aint sick of it... yet.. *smiles*
I don't want to go another day
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
Seems like everybody is breaking up
Throwing their love away
I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say
Nobody's going to love me better
I'm going to stick with you Forever
Nobody's going to take me higher
I'm going to stick with you
You know how to appreciate me
I'm going to stick with you
My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'm going to stick with you
I don't want to go another
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
See the way we ride
In our privated lives
Ain't nobody getting in between
I want you to know that you're the only one for me
And now
Ain't nothing else I can need
And now
I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me
I got you
We'll be making love endlessly
I'm with you
Baby, you're with me
So don't you worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you and you know me
And that's all that counts
Nobody's going to love me better
I'm going to stick with you
Forever
Nobody's going to take me higher
I'm going to stick with you
You know how to appreciate me
I'm going to stick with you
My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'm going to stick with you
Nobody's going to love me better
I'm going to stick with you
Forever
jen
~18:08~
******
drained of energy..
for the past few days. my life's been pretty much routine.. wake up.. go to sch... central lib lvl 6 usual table.. mug mug mug.. taking occasional breaks when frens come over or i go find fren to talk talk.. den going back home when the lib starts playing music n threatens to off all the lights after 5 min.. haha thanks kel for all the lifts :)
oh results for human disease are finally out.. i did pretty ok i guess.. den again there are those who totally spoil the market n got full marks.. i mean like.. how the hell do u get full marks for essays??? bleahz.. spoilerrrrrrr... nonetheless at least i din fail or whatsoever.. one lab report to complete by tmr coz it's due on mon.. lol..
so so tired.. gonna sleep rite after im done blogging.. only had 2 hours of sleep the prev nite.. n no.. it's not coz i was studying.. it's coz i was hanging out with my usual lovelies.. :) a fonecall from shim at 10 when i was on my way home in kel's car became a hanging out session at haagen daaz at siglap.. shim ling dawn jon n syl (n of coz me) then turned into greedy monsters and headed down in jon's car to east coast macs for supper.. lol.. it was actually my dinner considering that kel helped smuggle in a waffle for me and el got me devilish twist from sci :) 'ai xin' "dinner" from frens.. really appreciate it~
anyhow the fone call from my best fren at 7 freaking am just about did me in.. napped twice in the lib todae.. went back in the evening n slept.. even skipped the family dinner i was supposed to have with my family.. oh well.. i must study n finish my lab report tmr!! diabetes is killing me... sob..
i dunno how im gonna finish studying.. not even thru with round 1.. this totally sucks..
jen
~00:27~
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November 10, 2005
tiredddd...
long long day today.. woke up at 7 freaking am for my 8am class.. onli to find that it was totally useless and a huge waste of my time! went over to yoon's room to sleep b4 heading for pharmaco lect.. not too bad.. just that the lecturer went too fast.. oh well.. that marked the last lect for this sem.. yippee~ exams are coming... boo~
my first attempt at dota failed horribly.. firstly.. the characters look the same to me.. 2ndly i get a headache maneouvring my way around the place.. thirdly.. my coordination or whatnot got problem.. hence i shall remain as a dota noob and shant bother about this animore.. lol.. i really dun understand how guys can get hooked to this.. it aint that exciting.. n it's a reali long game! played for like 45 min n it still wun end! i tink im happy just msn-ing and blog hopping.. :P
i am so tired.. yet i need all the energy boost i can for this last lap of the sem.. nobody said it was easy.. that's precisely why we are all mugging our asses off.. us poor students.. boohoo..
it's time to crawl into my nice comfy bed.. it's gonna rain.. n the rain always reminds me of that certain someone..
jen
~02:54~
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November 09, 2005
spectacular spectacular~
was fortunate enough to be the inner door usher at circle 3 tonite for the imperial russion ballet of r n j.. so so so so nice!! omg.. i was mesmerised!! they make it look so easy when it's actualli not.. full house tonite.. same goes for tmr as well.. had fun working n watching the show.. heh.. n i met shuo hui!!! my cousin cum cedar classmate n her sis! so qiao~ v v happi to meet up with her.. now that i have her msn.. 2a'98 peeps... keep ur eyes n ears open! there's gonna be 2a the gathering real soon! probably in jan.. coz a lot of us are away on SEP now..
todae i went to sch for nothing.. i should have read the tut qns b4 coming.. totally waste of time.. me n dondon walked out of the lt.. cant stand the lecturer.. cant stand his.. 'i dunno' to most of the qns asked.. like wth lar.. dun have an ans den dun put the qn down lar!! realli waste time leh..
gelare's at holland v was great.. went tog with yoon shim n dondon~ i just lurve hanging out with them~ heh.. n we got study ok!!! :P
i heart sappy korean dramas.. boohoo.. cried buckets over the 2nd last episode of 'tian guo de jie qi' or something like that.. next mon chan u.. last episode!! must watch! heh..
time for bed.. 8 am class tmr.. grrrr...
'if u dun wanna tell me anithing.. it's fine..'
jen
~01:36~
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November 08, 2005
was about to sleep when i did a bimbotic thing.. bleahz.. i was printing my notes.. den printer says no ink.. so i changed the catridge.. den somehow i started shaking the 'empty' catridge..and i was thought.. still got so much ink wad!! shake shake shake.. i got ink all over myself!!!!! boohoo.. scrubbed off all the ink and now im fresh n clean again.. so much for wanting to sleep earli.. heh
oh i forgot to add in the prev post.. daddy was made to sing the birthday song for mummy coz he din wish her happy birthday!! haha :P punishment~~~
mugging at central lib today was ok.. a bit distracting though.. i shall stick to level 5 reference.. so much quieter.. studied with yoon, shim, nikki, jo, paul, harold, elson.. but not all at the same time though.. but it was good.. all great study buddies :) i feel quite accomplished..
so bout wed nite.. haha nothing really much.. oh being the eve of a public holiday.. the queue was super long.. like how a normal queue would look like at 11 pm.. went with jap june n ashley, jo el john eugene and queued for a good 1/2 hour in the rain.. tahkfully it was onli a drizzle.. met ti eu, har n chalk at phuture.. met yoon at mambo too! so fun! heh.. had many many shots n jugs of alcohol but i was fine.. so unlike that fri nite when i concussed... yes up til today shim n gang are still teasing me about it.. bleahz.. and there was this guy who approached me n told me he was having a bachelor party coz he was getting married on sat.. treated mi n jo a shot of sex on the beach in exchange for my name n hp num.. which of coz i gave a fake number.. lol.. quite funny though..
hung around at phuture most of the time coz the music was good and also it was amazingly cooler n less crowded.. zouk on the other hand was like a suana.. in the end bout 2 plus i couldnt take it so off we went to mambo at zouk.. haha so fun!! :) my first mambo in a long long while.. my mambo was complete.. i got to do summer rain on the podium! haha tog with jo~ :P was thrilled to hear all those retro hits ringing in my ear once again.. heh but sadly i forgot a lot of the moves already.. nvm.. go more often n learn again haha.. partied til 5 n went home satisfied.. heh one of the best clubbing nites.. i totally enjoyed myself.. :)
pms-ing period is over.. the sun shines again.. jennifer is back to being her usual bubbly self~ :) muackz thanks frens for being so nice.. heh
jen
~02:53~
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November 07, 2005
birthdays~~~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY~!!!!! :)
had a nice lovely dinner at hot stones (thanks weijie for the reccomendation!) with the whole family.. ambience realli great.. the food's not bad too! something diff.. will post up pics tmr or something.. hee.. v happy.. n mummy's bdae cake was the white chocolate macademia from secret recipe!! so yummy! heh surprised her with a swatch.. :) she kinda chose it herself.. hee~
next up..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONDON!! :P
heh rushed down to dawn's place after dinner with shim.. pulled a realli nice stunt along the cte too.. remind me again to stick to ecp aye or sle.. me dun like pie cte.. heh.. :P yummy sweet secrets cake.. was too full to eat ani of the food.. but can tell dawn was realli happi.. and i was a lil disappointed in a few pple.. who last min found excuses not to go.. i mean if u dun intend to go den just say no lar.. anihow we still had a great time.. heh.. 'initial d-ed' with jonathan on the way home.. lol.. actualli not realli lar.. heh.. but on the way back i had this realli bad feeling that i'll crash the car or something.. so i was paying much much more attention to the roads.. looking out for pedastrians too.. thank God i made it home safely... bot dawn a swatch too :) to be shared among the 8 of us.. n shim me cher n yoon bot her an additional bobbi brown concealer! heh..
it's 2 and im beat.. din do ani mugging today.. tmr the mugging begins.. at central library level 6.. pop by if u're lonely and wan to meet me! haha.. *winks*
jen
~02:09~
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November 05, 2005
lonely....
just back from a 8 course dinner with family n my dad's buddhist center people.. his 'shifu' came down to 'visit'.. just before leaving home.. i was hit with super bad cramps.. den i felt realli sick.. but i still went.. along the course of the dinner.. many jokes were made.. some i thought was really out of hand but i din say a thing.. religion issues again.. i guess it's better to just shut up n eat the food..
been pms-ing the past few days.. can feel myself getting pissed off for no rhyme no reason.. thank god i din blow up at anione.. but yeah it got me slightly depressed too.. kinda thought back about my r/s with *him.. like all the things we've been thru.. n yeah i do agree dat at times i might be that tad bit oversensitive over 'the same old issue'.. but u cant deny that the reson im feeling this way is coz of the well known saying 'once bitten twice shy'.. im really afraid.. vulnerable.. i dunno.. maybe i do feel lost n alone at times.. but i guess it's more of the uncertainty about what's happening over there rather den anithing else.. sometimes i feel that *he's still unsettled.. just a few days back.. someone left a comment on *his blog.. clearly indicating she tot he's single all along.. so how am i supposed to feel? i really dunno.. i guess he'll be unhappy once i post this up n he reads it but im realli not feeling ok now.. im realli not in the mood to hide things from him.. n i dun intend to..
shall blog bout my happy mambo nite another time.. not now.. not when im feeling depressed n lonely..
long d r/s.. definitely NOT easy.. not when it comes to the point when u dun even noe what the other person is doing on the other side of the world most of the time.. when u fear saying the wrong things coz u might be scolded stupid n useless.. when u cry when u talk to *him n the part when he says those 3 words to u.. coz those 3 words.. throws all the bad thoughts outta my head.. just those 3 simple words means the world to me... and through it all.. despite how im feeling.. i still find myself falling back into *your arms...
one more kiss could be the best thing.. one more lie could be the worst.. in my head there's only you now.. this world falls on me...
jen
~23:56~
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November 01, 2005
random rants.
from a supposed wacky nite out at zouk became a nice quiet chill out nite with shim :) met her at siglap where we each had a smoothie n shared a muddy mud pie! yummyyy! *grinz*
what we talked about really set me thinking.. she asked me "dont u feel that it's wasted??" i told her.. maybe but it's the circumstances that made me as such..
im no longer the same girl i was 2 yrs ago.. i've grown.. changed.. for better or worse i dunno.. but there's def no turning back.. i've been thru a lot.. maybe not as much as others but still it's more than my heart could take..
den i thought to myself.. has the environment we're living in shaped us to what we are right now? ask urself then.. conformist or the one being conformed?
something i got from the teg's blog.. "what hurts more than losing you..is knowing you're not fighting to keep me.." shaun's realli good with words.. it just hits you right straight in ur heart.. just when u least expect it....
girls.. always so full of problems.. but dont guys have a part to play as well??
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
jen
~03:06~
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